So my wonderful old-fashioned Grandma called me last week after she heard I broke it off with my now ex-boyfriend. She first suggested that we seek counseling. Seriously. I told her that counseling isn't an option, then she proceeded to ask in every conceivable way if this means that I am utterly and completely alone ("So you're alone?" "You don't have anyone?"). So I answer her and say that yes, I am alone at the moment and that's just fine with me. Then she made what she thought was a joke, but in my fragile and sensitive state, I wasn't laughing. She said "Well I guess you're just going to be an old spinster then aren't you?"
I know that she never meant that statement in a cruel or hurtful way, but it definitely wasn't what I needed to hear at the time. She ended up apologizing profusely and sending me housewarming money (thanks Grandma).
I was explaining this story to a lady that I work with, who I thought would just be mortified at what my Grandma said to me. But no, she said "I just think that she wants to see you settled." So being single automatically means you can't be settled? What?
Right now I feel the most settled that I have in a good while, and yes, I'm single. And I know too many married couples who are anything but settled. I know my Grandma is from a completely different time (she had been married, widowed, and remarried with 2 kids by the time she was the age I am now), but I think we need to lose the stigma that you have to be married to be "settled." It's craziness.
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