The Crystals

When I was in the process of buying my house, there was one element that I knew I would have to take care of immediately. The crystals.

Outside of my house, lining the sidewalk that leads to my front porch and surrounding circular flower beds, are white/opalescent quartz crystals. I hated them. I thought they were tacky. But unfortunately, they were also embedded in concrete, so to remove them would take a lot of work, and most likely a little money. So I've just dealt with them, and they've actually kind of grown on me.

Last night I was mowing my yard when a guy at the house next door to mine peeked over the fence and got my attention. I reluctantly turned off the mower (I was afraid it wouldn't start again after it had been turned off) so I could hear him. He told me that his fiance's grandparents lived in my house their entire lives. That explains some of the hideous "old person" decor choices.

He said that they put a lot of work into the house, including putting up the privacy fence that surrounds it, and of course, installing the crystals. He explained that his fiance's grandfather went to Bauxite every weekend and dug up the crystals by hand to be able to put them in their yard, as a gift to his wife. He hand-dug those suckers, poured the concrete, and placed them side by side. All for his wife.

In light of that, I am so very glad that I didn't get rid of those crystals. My uncle's crazy girlfriend came by to see my house a few months back, and she absolutely loved the crystals and swore that they would bring me good karmic energy. I find it ironic that my ex was dead-set on getting rid of the crystals, he hated them, and tried to knock them from the concrete with a rock bar. I think the crystals actually got rid of him.

Maybe, just maybe, they'll bring me the good fortune of finding a man who would hand dig ugly quartz crystal just to make me happy.

Affirmation

One of the greatest things God has done in my life recently is provide me with situations and instances that affirm that I've made the right choices.

I'm very guilty of rehashing decisions and second-guessing whether or not I made the right choice. Recently God has made it paintstakingly obvious that I made the right decision, in one instance in particular. It makes me feel good to know that, and it makes me feel good to know that God cares enough about me and my heart to lay those things out for me to see and to know.

Things I Don't Understand

1. Parking decks. How do they work? How come no one goes the wrong way and collides with an oncoming vehicle? Baffling.

2. The male species. They say that they're easy to understand, that they're simple. Riiiiiiiiight. Saying one thing and acting in a way that doesn't reflect what you said...that ain't simple folks.

3. Gas prices. No explanation (on my part) necessary.

4. Human beings. When you really stop and think about it, it's completely mind-boggling that we come into the world not knowing any words, and we learn an infinite amount of words over the years. We all grew from babies into what we are now. Our bodies are biological and anatomical, yet within our bodies lies the capability to feel emotion. It's just crazy (and miraculous) to think about.

5. Numbers. I suck at numbers. I just can't wrap my mind around them enough to do anything productive with them.

This post is to be continued...

Update

I was reading through some old posts and saw the need for a good update, so here it is.

About 2 months ago I got a job working as Marketing Specialist for a local bank. So far, I absolutely love it! It has been so much fun, and I've been consistently challenged, which is important to me. I also (finally!) have my own office with a view, and it has been the best thing since sliced bread. I truly hope to stay with the bank for a good long while, and I can finally say that I truthfully love my job. It's a good feeling for sure.

The interior of my house is pretty much complete! We've painted my kitchen cabinets and they look really good. It definitely feels like my home now. Sometimes I look around and just think "I really love this place." Now it's time to move to the exterior...lots of little projects to tackle.

I've been spending a lot of time with friends lately, which has been wonderful. I've been able to meet some new folks, too, and have really enjoyed that. I'm almost finished with the latest book I've been reading, "How to be Single." No, it's not an actual "how-to" book, it's a fiction book about an author who travels the world to discover how single women around the world live. It's been a really fun read.

So that's about it. For now.

My Great Granny

This is what I wrote to be read by my Mom at my Great Granny's funeral. I wanted to share it so that you could maybe understand what an amazing woman she was.

"In my eyes, my Great Granny was everything a woman should be. She was steadfast and committed to her beliefs. She was a faithful and loyal wife. She was a loving and guiding mother, Grandmother, and Great-Grandmother.

But, to me, one of the greatest legacies Great Granny left behind lies in my Dad. My Dad certainly wouldn’t be the man he is today without Great Granny’s guidance, support, instruction, and love. It is because of her that I have my family, one of the greatest sources of strength and love in my life, and for that, I am eternally grateful to her.

I know that Great Granny is now in a place where she feels no pain and has absolutely no limitations. She is with Great Granddad, the true love of her life, and I feel blessed to have both of them watching over me and my family. I can only hope that I become even half the woman she was, and leave behind a legacy comparable to hers. That would no doubt mean that I lived a great life, just as Great Granny did."

Another Sync Article

It matters to me
Ginny Wiedower
Wednesday, August 13, 2008

“When he's not drunk he's only stuck on himself, and then he has the nerve to say he needs a decent girl.” Jackson Johnson, from the song “Posters”

Thank you, Jack Johnson, for writing a lyric that represents one of the great mysteries of life. Or at least my life.

A few Saturday nights ago I went out with some of my friends. I ran into an old acquaintance from high school and college and we talked for a few minutes. He asked what I was doing now, and I told him that I just bought a house and that I just got a new job. He responded, “Yeah man, I've been trying to hang out with girls that really have their sh*t together lately. That's awesome.” Good for you acquaintance.

Later in the evening I saw this same person, who only hours earlier professed his need to hang out with girls who have their act together, being dragged out of the bar by security for fighting in his drunken stooper. Even better, he was fighting the person he came to the bar with. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this guy does not have his sh*t together.

I fully understand and appreciate the fact that no one is perfect (myself very much included). I'm sorry, really I am, but I just can't wrap my mind around how people who clearly don't have their acts together can think that what they need is someone who does.

One of the issues with this scenario is that the person who thinks that all they need is a “good girl” or “good guy” in their life to solve all of their problems and inspire them to fly right is waiting on a person to be their catalyst to change. Or even worse, they are waiting on a person to come along and wave a magic wand and do the changing for them.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news (Okay, not really), but it just doesn't work that way folks. First of all, we (yes, we, myself included) cannot simply wait on some outside force to come along to make us want to change. The “want to” has to be deep within us, or else any “change” that takes place is merely surface level and makes no real difference in how we live our lives. And not one person on earth can change another person. [Note: I said no one “on earth.” I am a strong believer in the power of spirituality in a person's life.] No matter how badly you might want to, if the other person in the relationship doesn't want, doesn't desire to make a change for the better, they won't. They might act like they are changing, but it is just that, an act. Sure, almost everyone wants to be a better person, but not everyone is willing to do what it takes to become a better person.

The other party in this scenario is not without fault either. I've known several people who I classify as “rescuers,” who want to save the other person and believe that they have what it takes to inspire the other person to change for the better. They like to feel that they are helping someone else along their path to change. Although I definitely think that it is helpful to have someone in your corner when you are trying to get your life in order, I know from experience that you cannot rely on that person to make the change for you. It's up to the individual alone to decide, first, that they want to change, and second, that they will do whatever necessary to make positive changes in their life. And, let's be real here, wouldn't you rather be with someone who inspires you to be the best version of yourself?

I like to reference an analogy I heard in my youth group meeting about a hundred years ago. If someone is standing on a chair, it is much easier to pull the person on the chair off than it is for the person standing on the chair to pull the other person up. The ideal situation, at least in my humble opinion, is to have two people standing on the chair, together.

I sincerely hope that you, the reader, don't think that I am advocating totally writing anyone off who doesn't have it all together. If that were the case, I wouldn't even hang out with myself because Lord only knows, I don't have everything all figured out. But I have figured out that I've spent entirely too much time trying to make other people something that they're not, and something that they're just not quite ready to be. It's time that I quit seeking someone to rescue and to change, and start seeking someone who inspires me to be the best me possible. A true give-and-take for both parties that results in both individuals being the best version of themselves.

So if you ever catch yourself thinking, “I'll change when 'The One' comes along,” or “I'm waiting on someone to motivate me to change,” reflect on this wise saying that was inside the fortune cookie I ate the other day: “To be loved, be loveable.” What are you waiting for? Be the best version of yourself, for yourself.

Ch-Ch-Ch Changes...

A lot of things have changed in my life recently. New house, new job, new relationship status. I've noticed, that in the midst of these changes, some of the people around me have changed as well.

It's natural to change. If we stayed the same our entire lives and didn't let situations and/or shape us, we'd be pretty boring, one-dimensional folks.

So if change is a natural, essential part of life, why is so hard to accept when someone you're close to changes? I guess I selfishly want the people in my life to stay the same, to be the old familiar friends that I've grown accustomed to. But I've come to learn that sometimes that's just not possible, and sometimes the changes that take place aren't going to be changes for the better.

This reminds me of a lyric from a Marc Broussard (spelling?) song, called "Gavin's Song." It says...

"I wish you places that sit so still,
Where people never ever change,
And never ever will."

I guess I was trying to live in that "place" where people don't change. I'm starting to think that place just doesn't exist.