Is The Golden Rule Gone?

Is it really that hard to treat people the way you want to be treated? I don't think so.

I just don't understand why people can't see that it's just as easy to treat someone with kindness and respect as it is to be hateful toward them or ignore them altogether. I feel much better about myself if I exhibit kindness and warmth and attention and caring to another person than if I am mean or short with them. So if being nice makes you feel good, why don't more people try it?

One of the most basic human needs is the need for acceptance. That's all people really want, to feel important, special, liked, and accepted. And all it takes to fulfill that need is treating people with basic human decency and respect. Treating people like you want to be treated. What's so difficult about this?

Wisdom from Jennifer Aniston

I read this quote, part of Jennifer Aniston's interview in this month's Vogue, and wanted to share it...

"It's my experience. And if you don't like the way it looks, then stop looking at it! Because I feel good. I don't feel like I'm supposed to be any further along or somewhere that I'm not. I'm right where I'm supposed to be."

She was responding to all the tabloid crap about her being unlucky in love, etc., and she spoke about the fact that just because her life doesn't fit into some traditional framework doesn't mean she is unfulfilled. Bottom line: As long as you are at peace with where you are, in your heart and in your relationship with your Higher Power, that's all that matters. Screw the "traditional framework."

Lessons From Mayer

I have a cat named Mayer. She is an absolute diva. When I'm not giving her enough attention, a sharp pain in my ankles, caused by her biting them, is a signal that she needs some love. Ankle scratches aside, I love that little fluff ball.

I feed Mayer every morning after I've gotten all dried off from taking a shower. It never fails...as soon as my feet hit the floor after waking up, Mayer runs to the door of the small closet in my bathroom where I keep her cat food. Although I stick to my routine of feeding her after my shower, she still continues to run to that door first thing in the morning. She is so needy.

Once I open the closet door, after moving her so I can actually open it, she runs at warp speed to her food bowl. I walk over and start to pour out the food into her bowl. But day after day, Mayer keeps her little fuzzy head inside the bowl so that she gets to that food as soon as possible. But this makes it difficult for me to pour her enough food. So by being too eager to get what she wants, she's actually prohibiting me from giving her a full bowl of food.

I think sometimes I'm like Mayer. I'm so anxious and eager for God's blessings that I get in the way of His outpouring in my life. I guess if I would trust Him more to bless me in His perfect way and perfect time, instead of getting in the way, the blessings might be richer. I think I'll give that a try. Although I don't hold out much hope for Mayer, my stubborn little fuzzball.

Girls are easy.

Get your mind out of the gutter...not that kind of easy (although we all know a few that fall into that category don't we...).

Guys often say that women are too complicated. Certainly, the female species is highly complex. We tend to overanalyze, overthink, and become overly emotional on occasion. But I think that's just how God created us to be. The fairer sex.

But in terms of relationships, all girls really want is to feel special. That's it. It's that simple. All we want is to know that the guy that we like likes us back. We want to know that he thinks we're pretty. All of these things can be accomplished at no cost, simply with words and affection. Could it be any more simple?!

I wish more guys understood this. That all we want is to feel cherished. And pretty. We're really not all that complicated.

More Words.

Today on another one of my favorite blogs, non-society, Julia Allison (who I adore) is preparing to write an article for Cosmopolitan magazine about "wife fluffers," and asked readers to share their thoughts. Below is a portion of a response a reader submitted that I find fascinating, and true...

"A wife fluffer is someone who really connects with the guy they were dating. They have such a strong connection, and she is so beautiful, smart and full of sass that the guy (to his surprise) really starts thinking about settling down and having a family. He must have this fantastic woman to himself forever. When things don’t work out, and he realizes he blew the best thing that ever happened to him, that desire to settle stays with the guy and he gets scared he will be a bachelor his whole life if he doesn’t take action. He meets the next serious girl and they get engaged and married in a shorter time than the wife fluffer and him had their first fight. He marries….and then she sees him and his wife in a couple of years and they aren’t that happy….and she feels bad for them….but happy it isn’t her."

Wow.

Words.

I was reading one of my favorite blogs, Love Eloise, today. I absolutely loved Eloise's explanation of love, and of the infamous passage found in 1 Corinthians chapter 13...

"Sure, love is patient. Love is kind. So am I on a good day. But here’s the reality (and I’m not being cynical): At the end of the day love is a choice. It’s not some magic power that heals all things. It’s a choice we make. Once the lust and euphoria has worn off in the relationship, love becomes a choice. Either we continue to work at it, or we don’t. It’s when we stop working at it and stop believing in it that love fails. That’s true in marriage, in relationships, and it’s true in life. There should be a clause to the end of that Bible passage: Love never fails…as long as you don’t give up on it."

I couldn't agree more.

What I Want, What I Need

I think one of the milestones of maturity is when we can realize the difference between what we want and what we need, and not just recognize the difference, but act accordingly.

Oftentimes our Hearts will want something, or someone, but our Minds know that it, or they, aren't what we really need.

I am a hopeless romantic, a dreamer. I follow my Heart to a fault. I'm often guilty of ignoring the evidence, no matter how obvious, and hoping/wishing/praying that the situation I'm in is the exception to the rule. It's not.

It is a delicate balance between what our Heart wants and what our Mind knows. If we don't follow our Heart, we are in some ways ignoring our feelings and emotions, which can lead to a stark and bleek future void of joy and expectance. If we don't follow our Mind, we ignore the cognitive evidence that can protect us from heartache down the road.

I'm guilty of ignoring what I know in my Mind to follow what I want in my Heart. I simply cannot function in that capacity any longer. I think the place where our Hearts and our Minds meet is a God-given combination of both knowledge and feeling: Intuition. From now on, I will no longer ignore that still small voice, that gut feeling. It's there for a reason.